Am I...A Control Freak??

Yes, I know...they're so adorable!==>



Oh my my my! Today was one of those days again! I had 3 papers to rock out today for school, my sister in law was here for EVER, and the baby is into everything, and climbing all over the place. Well, my husband took a little nap, and I woke him up to deal with the little one, and every time I looked over, he was sleeping again, and she was just crawling free...then, she fell and smashed her face on the coffee table. I shouldn't have--but I sort of blamed him; he was sitting right there, but he was watching TV, and therefore wasn't paying attention to her. He was going to take her to his mother's house and I told him no.





I just feel like nobody can pay attention to my daughter like I can pay attention to my daughter. She's only safest when I know that I am in control of everything: where she crawls, what she climbs on, what goes in her mouth.





Am I neurotic?





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Maybe a little bit..... ;)

All I Want for Christmas...

oh, mother in-law,

with the best of intentions,

I'm sorry to say--

this is your intervention....

I've tried oh so hard

with a smile on my face,

but subtlety is failing,

and I'm losing faith.

So I'm saying here now,

before this heads south--

Get that piece of pie

Out of my baby's mouth!

She's too young for a sucker

She's not big enough for cake

When I tell you No

that advice you should take!

And don't let your dog

Lick her poor lips

Would you let him lick you there?

He licks where he sh*ts!

You got to raise your kids

and you did just fine

But step back, oh mother in-law,
and Let me raise mine!

10 Reasons to Breastfeed

• The bond between Mama and Baby...
• You tend to lose weight quicker after the baby's born
• It's much cheaper than formula!
• It's pretty convenient
• It provides Baby's first immunizations
• Only Mama can do it!
• It's easy on a baby's tummy
• It's the best way to get seats by yourself on a plane.
• You don't have to get up in the middle of the night to make a bottle
• Did I mention you lost "baby weight" quicker?
• Breastfeeding lowers your chances of breast cancer

Something to Chew On!!

I believe everything happens for a reason

People change so you can learn to let go,

Things go wrong so that you appreciate them

when they're right, you believe lies so you

eventually learn to trust no one but yourself,

And sometimes good things fall apart so better

things can fall together.

~~Marilyn Monroe

Some Teething Questions

Is it true that teething causes runny noses? I was wondering about this phenomena, since I've found out that almost 100% of mothers I know believe that snot and new teeth have some correlation...but why? My now seven month old beauty began teething during midterms (what perfect timing!) and cut her second tooth two weeks ago, but there were no signs of any booger infiltrations, so I was curious to find out if there was any truth behind this myth. It turns out it may just be a myth after all!

I looked in LCSC's online library for some scientific journals that may have published some sort of findings about this curious correlation--or non correlation--and found an article entitled, "Experience of Turkish Parents About their Infants' Teething." There was a test conducted around a group of Turkish parents and their toddlers. They had to be less than 18 months of age, with at least one tooth. There were 335 families, who were given a face to face questionnaire about the symptoms they attributed to teething.

"The most commonly reported symptom was increase in biting, followed by irritability and fever."

Some of the children were taken to the doctor while teething, and of those, 78.8% of the symptoms were 'teething related' while the rest was actually a bacterial infection needing antibiotics. The conclusion was that before attributing cold or flu symptoms to teething, other things need to firstly be ruled out.


Check out the article at:

There He Is!

I never knew Him,

though they said He was there,

I never felt his presence...

I never knew He cared.

Such a powerful person would never

Shun my moms, you see,

And no God anyone can worship

Will have so much power over me.

He wouldn't start these holy wars,

He could never watch babies die--

My uncle left me last year

And only God knows why.

A God won't ask for charity,

or pass around a hat;

I will never ever--

No, I will not fall for that.

A spirit calling for worship

Shouldn't exclude a single soul

from his membership-only club

since they couldn't pay a toll.

Lesbians could frolic

In my Heaven, too, you see,

This is why God

Never made much sense to me.

From the very first day

I held my daughter in my hands,

And she looked at me with such love

I never thought I'd understand;

The moment she first smiled

as she peered into my eyes

There was no turning away from it;

It was then I realized:

God could be a synonym

For precious, priceless love,

God is just a safe place

A name for waking up.

God is not a person,

A place or a thing,

But it's true He lives in all of us,

I hear Him when I sing,

I see Him in my daughter's face,

In my husband's loving tones,

I know Him when I dream at night

And I never am alone.

To Better Days

Today was a very rough one, as sometimes they are when you're a mother: I have my gorgeous baby girl who needs me to be at her becking call, of course...and don't get me wrong, it is the most rewarding job anybody could ever have; though, it is often times overwhelming. I am also a full-time college student at Lewis-Clark State College, and against the advice of my parents, numerous professors, and my advisor, I have fifteen credits--all online. My husband works in the woods ten to fifteen hours a day, so most everything (housework, baby, meals, family, shopping and bills) is left upon my shoulders while he struggles to make money to keep us afloat.

I hope you don't think of me as whining, I just want to get out onto paper the way I sometimes feel that nobody knows except me. I am shot. At my last doctor appointment my OBGYN diagnosed me with Postpartum Depression, which roughly affects about 25 percent of women.

The worst part about the depression is the way I relate my stress to my husband; I take it out on him, I get irrate with him for no reason, and I feel secluded from him. My daughter sometimes weighs on me like a burden, which breaks my heart, because she is the most precious thing in my life, and I wouldn't trade her for anything in the world. I talked to an older woman I know recently about it, and she helped to put things into perspective for me. She said that when she had her children from her first husband that she, too fell deep into a depression. The difference here, however, was that her husband was abusive and cruel, calling her fat and lazy, punching her in the face and cowering over her as she curled up in a corner. She stood up each time, dusted herself off, and took care of her magnificent babies.

When finally she gathered the courage to leave this man, three years after the birth of her second daughter, the clouds seemed to disperse and she again flourished like she once had. She met her new husband, Wayne, and he supported her and showered her in the long-lost love she knew she did deserve. Eileen is her name, and she was on Prozac for three whole years before her symptoms cleared up.

My doctor has me on the same medication, and I am happy to have realized that I truly am blessed to have a husband who ceaselessly supports me, loves me and would swim through a river of alligators to be by my side (his words not mine). When I feel like all of the school, all of the stress and pressure is too much, I should know that I can ALWAYS turn to my Ian and tell him how I'm feeling. And if that doesn't work, I can come right here, and spill my heart out through my fingertips for anyone who cares to read!

Life is tough. Life is beautiful. Life is stress. Life is pleasure. Life is tragic. Life is magnificent.

LaB0r oF LoV3

I believe most women have a deep-rooted curiosity about childbirth before they actually live through it; I definitely did. When I found out I was pregnant in August of 2007, I was ecstatic, but there was another feeling. There was a deep rooted, unspeakable and almost shameful fear, a fear of the unknown, undoubtedly. I had no idea what to expect. I was twenty years old, and there was no way I could bring a child into this world, raise it--let alone push it THROUGH my VAGINA! What was it going to feel like? What if I couldn't handle the pain? What if I tore 'down there' like so many other women?

Needless to say, I was mortified. I don't believe I'm the only woman who harboured these thoughts before or during pregnancy, and surely I won't be the last. I'd like to spell out some of the things I experienced during labor, and attempt to dispel some of the anxiety, in case I have some nervous mother-to-be reading..Just trying to help!

In the days prior to my due date, which fell on April 15th, I walked miles, literally. I was absolutely HUGE, uncomfprtable, had to pee every fifteen minutes, my back hurt, I couldn't sleep, and my family had finally shown up in anticipation of the childbirth. All fear of that pain I was going to feel was kind of put on the back burner, because I was so ready, not only to meet my baby girl, but also to have my body back. A lot of people had told me that the fear goes away toward the end, because you're simply fed up with pregnancy, and I never believed I'd be ready for "the worst pain of my life," as my mother put it, but I definitely was.

I had been incredibly emotional that ay, because the night before, went I decided to go to sleep, I was convinced I'd be waking up to hurry to the hospital. My contractions weren't steady, but they were falling between four and ten minutes apart, and were getting increasingly more intense. I woke up with no baby--and no contractions at four in the morning. I woke my husband up from a deep sleep; wailing, and spewing tears, we walked two miles to the hotel where my mothers and grandmother were staying. That day we walked. A lot.

I had some back pain that day, which was pretty uncomfortable, but in fact was no worse than the normal, day to day pain I'd been suffering just from carrying my daughter for so long. I was having contractions, but I thought there was no way I could have possibly been in labor, because I'd had exponentially worse menstrual cramps! I decided after going to the hospital and being sent home to rest and dilate further, that a hot shower would help my back to feel better. The whole family argued with me, saying that the heat would stop my contractions, so I should not take a shower, but I said that I was not having a baby today (I was so emotional!) since I'd been sent home. I cried, "I'm never having this baby!"

I got in the shower, and whined to my best friend, Kaylin about everyone trying to tell me not to take a shower, even though it would make me relax and feel better. I let the water hit my lower back, then I would put my face and head under the stream, and the steam would fill my lungs. I was feeling so much better for the first five minutes, then, my contractions started intensifying. I now had to rock back and forth. I had Kaylin start timing my pains again. Six minutes was the last count.

"What now?" I'd ask.

"That was four minutes, Chrystal."

"I'm having another, start counting..." I would sway in and out of the water, in pain, but still nothing I thought was too serious.

"That was three," she said, and forced me out of the bath. Of course everyone was excited to hear that I was right, and I was more than thrilled to tell them so. Still, the pain was not as terrible as I thought it should be, so I wasn't convinced I was having a baby quite yet.

Within an hour, I was at the hospital.

The doctor said I was dilated to a 4, which meant I was almost ready for an epidural if I so chose. I didn't like the thought of a loss of control over my legs, pushing, or bladder and bowels (I'm a little bit of a control freak, I know) so I opted against pain medication until he broke my water, when I learned what being a woman meant.

The doctor broke my water, and shortly after told me I could go for a walk, since gravity helps with the labor process. I walked down the hall maybe fifty feet to the guest waiting room where my family and friends were sitting, dripping with anticipation. I then was hit with a wave of contractions. I had to sit in one of the chairs, connected to my IV, in my gown, with my rear exposed. During contractions, the best way to explain it is that you leave the universe. I was no longer in that room, and could clearly see stars shooting past me, as my eyes were closed.

I had three while sitting there, and said a quick goodbye to my family and headed quickly back to my delivery bed. Things were beginning to happen quickly now. With the contractions, I lost feeling of my body, and went elsewhere in my mind. I told my doctor I was ready for some sort of pain management, post-haste. He gave me a medication called Stadol, which I completely recommend for those who don't feel comfortable with the epidural, but also don't feel comfortable with the pain...well, I felt all pain, it didn't take that away, but it took away the anxiety between contractions. I nearly slept between all contractions.

Soon, it was hours later and time to push. The worst part of all of the labor combined was being told for several different reasons to stop pushing. I can't describe the way the 'pushing' part of labor feels; you just have to push. My daughter was born at 11:59 PM on her due date. How is that for timing?!